Saturday, June 26, 2010

Bad Guys, Good Guys

Alright, so we have, for villains, the Afro-Alinsky Alliance, which, in order to bring about a secular/progessive (poor Bill O'Reillyk, his little term never really gained ground with the conservatives because it had too many syllables- "HITLER!!! FASCISM!!!" is much more succinct) New World Order, have instituted a breeding program, much like the Bene Gesserit in Frank Herbert's Dune novels. The final product of this nefarious plot is a charismatic, smooth-talking usurper, the son of Robert Mugabe and Jane Fonda- born in Kenya, but snuck into the soft white-sand underbelly of the USA- the Peoples' Republic of Hawaii, much as a cuckoo infiltrates the nest of another bird in order to foist its young on the unsuspecting victim.

Ranged against this usurper is a group know as the Pee Tardy, because it is composed mainly of old men who have problems micturating. Perhaps it's a buildup of nitrogenous wastes in their brain tissues that drive them to wrathful displays, perhaps it's just the fact that the occupant of the White House ain't a White Guy. The motto of the Pee Tardy group is "We surround them, like a swollen prostate surrounds a urethra."


  1. Don't forget to clarify that it's ugly shrewish old hag Jane Fonda as opposed to young hawt libertine Barbarella Jane Fonda.

    Oooh wait - here's a potential *twist*! An additional love interest, some tight bodied athletic babe (possibly the star of a series of fitness videos) who later betrays the Hero because she's really Jane Fonda's daughter and the step-sister of teh Usurper. And then later when the Hero is in some dire circumstance - Jane Fonda's daughter turns again and rescues the Hero because she's fallen in love with him (afterall he is totes irresistable. Also too, women - like they change their minds all the time! BONUS literary quote line - Frailty! Thy name is Jane Fonda's daughter!). And then it turns out that Jane Fonda's daughter really wasn't evil at all because her dad wasn't dark skinned Mugabe but a powerful media mogul up to his ears in Capitalism! - and we all know that it's the man's seed that is the only important factor in determining a child's future aspects.

  2. Oooh, and the perfect person to play the sexy double-agent-Jane-Fonda's-daughter in the movie version - Anna Chapman.

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